Monday, 17 June 2013


I thought I'd lost you yesterday,
2006 and smiling face,
overseas and newly wed and newly off the plane.

Scratched disk -
past would not reveal itself,
pictures lost and careless me and playful careless kids.

I'll never be that young when caught in photographs again.

I thought you'd slipped -
yesteryear and lost from grip,
all I have to keep in sight and pull together bits.

Of youth -
2 days married, honeymoon,
clearest ocean miles from home and turquoise deep sea view.

And tiny birds,
terrace bar and and view beyond,
perch and flutter in our midst and lightest, sweetest song.

As free as us.

As free as blood to duly rush,
brow and sweat and how on earth has such a thing been done,
lose the image lose the means to easily recall.

Freckle face and slim and tall,
not yet stretched of children borne,
husband dark and silver grey is still for years beyond.

Young and loved and only us and wandered far abroad.

And though I say,
I am not so different from the girl that I was then,
certain angle, certain light and only certain change...

Not today -
found you there on apple mac and hardly knew your face,
honeymoon and honey skin and honey lightened hair.

Age is cruel in morning light to catch you unaware.

So keep you safe,
double, triple, back-up made,
what's been lost in looking glass at least on disc remains.

30 years and bright of eye,
gaze ahead at sunny sky,
if I could I'd let you know that things will work out fine...

Girl you'll be a mother soon - in only 12 months time.

Prose for Thought


  1. What a moment that must have been for you, to think they were gone would have been heart stopping. I was married in 2007 and found out I was expecting Esme only 4months later. Similar scenario. And I don't know about you Helen, I love my kids and the way it happened, but in all honesty, just a little bit more of a DINK life would have been so cool! Great poetry! x

    1. Thank you - yes 5 months later I was bed ridden with acute morning sickness. It was awful to think I had lost all the photos, so lucky that I managed to save them from computer at work x

  2. I bet you were filled with such relief today! Glad you have made that backup-has reminded me to do the rest of mine! Great photos x

    1. That's the problem with digital cameras - I never print anything out. Rely on laptops and CDs... thank you x

  3. Phew! What a gorgeous photo of you, glad they weren't all lost forever!

  4. Well thank goodness they weren't lost! And how lovely you look. I stumbled upon a picture of me on my honeymoon a few weeks ago - I looked so shapely and firm. A month later I was pregnant! X.

  5. Photos are such an important window back into our past. Like you, I wish I could go back and tell my 30 year old self how good the future would be...I already felt so old, as though I hadn't done enough with my life. Looking back, I was such a baby!

    Really glad you found the image.

  6. Oh youth! You just don't appreciate it until you look back. I am always amazed when I look back at old pictures and wish I had appreciated how I looked back then!

    Your words are powerful as always, you capture emotions a bit like a camera actually!

  7. Great you managed to save the photos - I need to learn to save mine properly!x

  8. Photos are so precious, aren't they? They mean such a lot, and looking back, and thinking about how things were, and what they are like now. Love the last line x

  9. Thank goodness you didn't lose those precious honeymoon memories Helen. Beautifully written as ever. Can't wait to meet you tomorrow and thanks for linking to Prose for Thought xx


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