Wednesday, 17 July 2013

The Fall

If you follow this blog you will have at some point read a poem about Jennie and her daughter Matilda Mae - who at 9 months old, on 2nd February 2013, was cruelly lost to S.I.D.S. - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

I didn't know Jennie and I never met Matilda Mae. I read the news via someone else's blog post.

Matilda was healthy - she was vibrant - and she was loved.

I found my way to Jennie's blog and read her story of every mothers worst nightmare.

And I fell.

Baby monitors which had been turned off were re-instated. I lingered over sleeping children to catch the rise and fall of a chest. I sat at work, at home, with friends... and could think of little else.

I lost perspective. Yet I couldn't speak of Jennie and Matilda, because how would anyone understand the strength of my reaction? We didn't live close by, we didn't share friends, nothing - except writing - had existed in our lives which made it likely we would ever have met.

But she is my age. She is a mother. She has a son and a daughter. She leads an ordinary life and does the best by her family - just like me.

What happened to Jennie could have happened to me.

That is the perspective my husband gave me when I eventually broke down and admitted how I was feeling.

And with that I carry on. I reach out and try to help in whatever tiny way I can. I thank the stars above for 2 healthy, happy children and swear not a day will go by when I forget how lucky I am.

But for Jennie it is a never ending fall. Sick and dizzy heights from the day Matilda died.

And that cannot be changed by anything I say, or do, or write.

But we can help change the future for others. In the months since Matilda died the blogging community has supported the tireless work of Jennie and her family in ways which make me smile, laugh and cry. To date an incredible £17,690 has been raised for both The Lullaby Trust and Bliss.

In a only a few short days that amazing support goes one step further. 9 strong, brave and crazy women are jumping from a plane to fund-raise even more. They are calling themselves #TeamMatildaMae and this weekend they will come a little closer to understanding how it feels to lose a baby girl...

They will fall from the sky.

#TeamMatildaMae are fast approaching their fund-raising target of £5,000. Please show your support and help ensure other happy families need never require the services and support of The Lullaby Trust x


  1. Very beautifully written..... and I retweeted like crazy the day of the jump!


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