Star

Hands held high you fling open scrunched fingers and say staaa,
The sign we have been teaching you for star.

You see them everywhere. Supermarket neon lights and headlamps light your way.

Your stars. They brighten up your everyday.
Catch your eye and pull your gaze. I ask you what you see up there.

And laid in cot you glance past my face - plastered ceiling, whitewashed bare.
And smile and gaze.

And I read once of angels seen by babes,
That they remember still, the place from whence they came.

Then forget, later.

And you learn every day - of what is solid, here to stay,
All that's real and all that's grey.

But I would have your angels stay. Leave not your sight, make not an ordinary day.
For magic lost is hard to recreate.

Should you forget once told there's nothing there?
When you say staaa I'll smile and let them stay... x

Today I'm linking to the wonderful Magic Moments.

About You Now

So this year - it turns out - is going to be all about you.

And from our house, we are telling you today -  that is cool.

Like it or not - we're your crew...

We'll help you smile when you're worn through,
help you out - or simply - help you feel like you.

That's what families do.

And this year - you come first,

Sit down, head back, feet up.

Whatever needs doing, we'll see it done.

Like you have always done for us.
So just bite your tongue while we make a fuss.

And you chose not - this place,

we'll see them off, these unwelcome days.

Nothing but a sticky phase.

And love, and life, and fight, and grace?

Our family - we've got that in spades... x

For my Mum (get well soon) x

You can read poetry every Thursday from other bloggers at Prose For Thought.

Tulip Fields

My Mum is an identical twin. Younger by 20 minutes - and shorter by a fraction of an inch.

Opposite shores of the North Sea. Waves and sky and miles in-between. 

And tulip fields.

Red and yellow and orange and green. A holiday backdrop all these years.

Strange it seems - when split from the same seed - that twins should grow apart and leave. Visit a couple of times a year. Planes and trains and duty free. 

And children who they seldom see. Different cities, different streets.

But one seed. One cot or they wouldn't sleep. One room, one school, one shared strand of memories.

Special - I believe.

Whatever the distance put in-between... x

Today I'm linking up to the fabulous Prose For Thought.

7 Weeks

It is forever winter here. Coldest March in 50 years. Snow and rain and wind and sleet.

And 7 weeks of tears. 7 weeks of disbelief. 7 weeks of new found grief.

I wish the cold would leave. I wish for buds and new spring leaves.

For sun to shine and warm your face.

For snow - I think - will always now remind you of these days.

I wish for you a milder place. Air which you can breathe again - shoulders not set tense against the day. And snow and wind and rain.

I wish to move the hands set on the clock face. For they appear fast stuck these days.

I wish for you a brighter place.

And may you always hear her name. May you keep - in sight - her face. May those you love remind you every day. May life without her slowly take a shape.

And all you plan for days and years ahead - may all that come your way. And later may you turn around and tell your girl - that were it not for her - life would not have been the same.

I wish the best in every way. I wish I knew the words to say.

So winter move on. Send hope and light and clear, cool sun.

Let 7 of the coldest weeks begin to turn to thaw... x

For Jennie. You can read her story here and you can make a difference here.

About A Boy

Today your Daddy brought snapshots home from work - a desk move and a clear out. Bag full of the past, 4 months old and growing fast.

And eyes - not yet focused - looking back.

6 to 8 months - before sight fully works. Clear no further than the closest face in front.

Not the sun or the moon or the birds. Night stars in the sky above.

But you see love. You know voice and you hear words. Warmth and light and smell and touch.

And when did focus come? Woke one day and found it worked? Saw a clearer, sharper world?

I noticed not. The million changes time has brought - inches grown and curves lost.

Whilst I watched.

Lifted you and held you up. Answered you when first you talked. Clutched your hand and helped you walk.

I caught your focus first.

Lucky me to be the one... x

My boy (4 months) x

Today I'm linking to the lovely...

Snapshot

I love old photographs. A little out of focus - colours faded, edges worn.

Kept in a case or a cardboard box - back of the drawer.

Or glass frames hung on a wall. Loved ones - moments caught - whilst life moved on.

Faces of babes held aloft, sun-tanned teens and grinning tots. And mothers - always out of shot. The arms, the hands, the tail of the coat.

The support.

Without whom - life should not move on. One generation to the next and years beyond.

Women who,

once mothers...

...seldom make it into pictures on their own... x

Me (and my Mum) x

Today I am linking up to the fabulous Prose For Thought.

Imaginary Friends

Once upon a time - when you were only small - you had a friend. A girl with a dress and yellow hair. You called her Yeidi - and she came everywhere.

Your imaginary girl. Who, back in those days, we knew very well.

I drew her picture for you - on the back of a restaurant menu. Some sunny day - stood on the beach with a bucket and spade.

It turned up not long ago - pulled from a drawer. You said that it was Isobel. Grown up with Mummy's hair.

You did not recall. I prompted and found a memory gone.

How odd. Days that I will never forget - slipped forever from your head.

And where lost? Some place of all forgotten stuff? Wrapped and locked and boarded up?

Yet I recall. The house where we first brought you home - baby toys and favourite clothes. Faces and names of those moved on.

Like yesterday - just.

And you have a sister now. Solid and real. I guess that makes yesterday easy to leave.

I'll draw you both - stood on a beach... x

Today I'm linking up to the magical Once Upon A Time.

A Quiet Belief In Angels

Do you see her today?
She misses you, she is in pain,
your beautiful mother can see no way to ever be whole again.

And she would have you in her arms today, call your name.
I wonder might you find a way,
to settle there awhile - where you were.

And I believe that from your place in light,
that sometimes you may catch the corner of an eye.
That you can watch and you feel close.

For I believe in souls.

And maybe you can help them carry on - your 4.
Perhaps one day you'll let them know,
for they do love you more than life can show.

And it is dark just now, at your house. For when you left a light went out,
but I imagine love which goes around - may yet again come back around.

Your love and your life, and all that you have left behind,
a million happy picture smiles,
let that - in time - grow bright.

And may you be your mother's guide - through pain,
for I believe that you're with her today.

And years from now, when her light fades - your mother love, your heart, your J,
she'll know your face and smile again... x

For Jennie. You can read poetry from other bloggers every Thursday at Prose For Thought.

A Mother's Voice

It's the cheeks I love. Plump and round and baby soft - flushed from sleep.

Full of face and shades of pink. No hint yet of cheekbones underneath.

They grow slim with the years - stretch into something lean. Slip through fingers and in-between. My boy of 5 could pass for 7 with ease.

But a chubby cheek. A small hand and childish tears. Keep them close these early years - for babies grow like disbelief.

My daughter, these days, is reminding me.

15 months - but toddler doesn't seem the word.

My baby, my love. I see you're set on growing up - just not too fast and not too much.

This boy my first, this girl my last. And somewhere in the middle hopes which didn't come to pass.

You are my all. My very breath, my rise and fall. Take your time whilst growing tall - your mother wants to catch it all.

So a baby cheek. A fleeting time I wish to keep. Nuzzle, kiss and wipe the tears... x

My post has been written as a guest blog for 'A Mother's Voice', a beautiful series which you can find at Write Like No One's Watching. I am also linking today to Magic Moments.

Matilda Mae

My candle today for Jennie and her darling girl Matilda Mae.

Fly high little one!

xxx

Some Of Us

For some it comes easy. Or too soon or when they least expect it to be.
For some it is a long wait.

Some find help.
Some find their way there by chance or mistake.

Sometimes it arrives late.
Some - like my own mum - remain beautiful all their days.

Some are lucky time and again, in blessed health.
Which is sometimes - and inexplicably - cut cruelly short.

Some lose.
Some leave too soon.

Some climb mountains in pursuit of a better way.
A few - in trying - fail.

Some make us laugh.

Some write their song in the aftermath.

Some find lost souls.
Some - believing they will never smile again - somehow find the strength to carry on.

Some find their voice.
Some are lucky to find what they have almost lost.

Some find they can help.
Some are yet to know the happy end they so deserve.

In some way we find we are the same.
We know utter love - which remains - for the rest of our days.

There is our triumph.
There is our Mothers Day... x

This week I am linking up with the wonderful Wednesday Words, Prose For Thought and the Weekend Blog Hop

The Road End

I thought of you today. Whilst out - in sun and fresh air. No hats and no scarfs. The 1st of March was a beautiful day.

Your sort of day. We walked to the field beyond the gate, down the slope and back again. Clumps of snowdrops everywhere.

And I imagined you were there.

The way you were when I was young. The age of my son and the years beyond. On days like this we would have walked. 

My girl wide eyed. Open fields and open skies. And my boy - grown beyond the one you know.

We talked of you on the way back home.

Of early spring. Snowdrops, crocus, daffodils. I told my son you loved these things.

And we said goodbye - to winter light and winter skies. Blinked at sun through narrowed eyes.

Whilst all around us light - stood right here you see for miles.

So for you. The top of the field and our view. Winters end and spring anew... x

Today I'm linking up to One Week