Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Ross

Marriage was not important to you,
so you stood at the aisle and said 'I do',
caught your breath at girl in dress and shed a tear or two.

You bought the old and run down house,
stripped the wood and caught the mouse,
blinked through single window pane as heat and heart slid out.

You watched our son,
questioned how you'd split your love,
reasoned 'it is what you want, let's have another one.'

You held me while I fell,
pulled me from the deepest well,
told me 'we are more than this and we will laugh again.'

You bought the chocolate for the shock when scan said baby girl.

You stayed awake,
you walked, you stood, you held, you paced,
let me sleep the backshift while you learned your daughters face.

Sang and whispered lullabies and breathed in angel hair.

You sighed,
as I began to talk of skies,
talk of water, talk of wave and talk of oceanside.

You emailed links to Rightmove and you hoped our feet stayed dry.

You missed your wife,
sat on sofa to the right,
as words and space and internet crept into day and night.

You ordered me a laptop and you told me 'go and write'.

The days I cried,
for Jennie and her girl who died,
you listened and you didn't judge or sweep it all aside.

You gave me back perspective when you couldn't make it right.

You chased our girl,
tearing laps round PC World,
let me gaze at apple mac and glimpse a brighter world.

You said 'perhaps we take a chance', you said 'this can be done'.

You built the desk,
cupboard, drawers and swivel chair,
heard me talk of busy work and went and sat downstairs.

Watched the TV on your own and didn't once complain.

You began,
to grow into a taller man,
slowly rooted in the ground so I could climb the branch.

I could sweep and soar and swoon and I could gaze at stars.

I may argue, I may sigh,
I may look with tired eyes,
I may talk of what we want and more than what we have...

I love you Ross you're 50 times the man you think you are.



You can watch me read this poem live as part of the February Virtual Open Mic Night hosted by Stephanie Arsoska of Beautiful Misbehaviour.


Prose for Thought

30 comments:

  1. I had a lump in my throat whilst reading this. Beautiful.

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  2. Helen this has made me tear up at work! Can relate to some of this too... Beautiful xx

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  3. Oh this is so beautiful. So pleased to discover your blog this morning. xx

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  4. Blimey! With all the blogs out there moaning about unsupportive, unappreciated and effectively-redundant-in-all-but-name husbands/partners (and all those torch poems for 'lost loves' who, when viewed from the outsider's perspective seem just over-rated one-night standoff sexual opportunists!) it's lovely to see a poem offering a different perspective.

    I'm sure Ross feels the same way about you :) Lovely poem, both technically and emotionally :D

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  5. How lovely. I can relate well too. x

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  6. Beautiful. Very touching. D

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  7. Lovely tribute to your husband #prose4t

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  8. This brought tears to my eyes! Your love for him just pours off the page (well, out of the screen). Gorgeous. #prose4T

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  9. Loved hearing you read this the other night. A beautiful poem in all kinds of ways xx

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  10. Beautiful. Just beautiful. xx #Prose4T

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  11. What a wonderful tribute to a clearly very special man and more importantly the right one for you

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  12. How beautiful. You always craft words together so wonderfully, Helen, but this feels different - like it has part of you threaded through. So intimate and so touching. Lovely xx

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  13. *sniffs* This is just so beautiful; full or appreciation and gratitude. X

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  14. So so beautiful, far superior to a bunch of flowers. It had a real sense of story too, as i didnt' know where it was going to head at one point ('your heart slid out' - help! I thought!). My fav line is "You began, to grow into a taller man, slowly rooted in the ground so I could climb the branch." Really love that one. I'm sure he thought his investment in your doing this poetry/blogging thing might have paid off a small bit when he read that....:-)

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  15. I loved hearing this aloud - and I loved reading it anew. Thank you so much for linking to Prose for Thought x

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  16. Wow - so many lovely comments - thank you all xx

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  17. I just clicked on this from the Britmums keynote bloggers line-up and am now standing in my kitchen in tears! What a beautiful post. I can't wait to hear you read it at BML :-)

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    1. Thank you. Your reading at Britmums Live was beautiful and so moving x

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  18. Wowsers. This is fantastic. What a beautiful tribute to your husband - love it. I am so looking forward to hearing you read this at Britmums! x

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  19. Absolutely beautiful, what an a amazing husband x

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  20. Oh heck, tears. This is my husband too, my husband who wrapped his arms around me earlier while I sobbed at everything that's too much at the moment.

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    1. He sounds like a wonderful supportive man. Love to you, I hope you are OK xx

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  21. Breathtakingly beautiful xx

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    1. Thank you Susan was lovely to meet you at Britmums Live xx

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  22. This poem is so so so so incredibly beautiful. I cried ALL the way through it when you read it SO beautifully at BritMums Live in the crowd sourced keynotes. I just watched the hangout above so as to hear it again xx

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    1. Thank you Liska, so lovely to see new faces joining the virtual mic night this month. Hope to catch you on the next one x

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  23. I read this when you first wrote it earlier this year and again at Britmums a few weeks ago. It made me cry a second time, then I stood and clapped a long time when you'd finished. A beautiful poem - thank you. x

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Thank you so much for commenting - it really does make my day x